As we're unlikely to see terraces again at football, this is the virtual equivalent where you can chat to your hearts content about all football matters and, obviously, Arsenal in particular. This forum encourages all Gooners to visit and contribute so please keep it respectful, clean and topical.
On a footy team end of season holiday years ago we went to Hong Kong for ten days and played a couple of charity games and beered it up long time.
During one game we were jocking the locals 7-0 (they were spud-style proper shite tbh ) and their fans started booing us. As we left the pitch at full time they then started throwing (non-soiled ) rolls of toilet paper at us (!)
One of our lads suddenly yelled out at the top of his lungs;
"Yous is all fucking rapists!"
Cue stunned silence by about 1000 people! Quality.
Footnote; This was back in 1997 just before the handover to China and for some strange reason toilet paper was like an Adebayor goal out there. None in fucking sight! Not in pubs or restaurant toilets, not in the public toilets, nowhere, so everyone seemed to carry their own... BUT the restaurants would have rolls of the stuff on the tables instead of napkins. Bizarre...
Was playing hockey a few seasons back and this kid kept on going about me eating pies, so I did the whole Glenn McGrath and Eddo
Brandes cricket sledge with him.
Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean chicken farmer Eddo
Brandes):
Glenn: "Hey Eddo, why are you so F**ing Fat?"
Eddo Brandes: "Because every time I F*** your mother, she throws me a biscuit"
Except I replaced biscuit with pie.
Trouble was it later turned out the kid's mother was actually dead!
NBM wrote:Was playing hockey a few seasons back and this kid kept on going about me eating pies, so I did the whole Glenn McGrath and Eddo
Brandes cricket sledge with him.
Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean chicken farmer Eddo
Brandes):
Glenn: "Hey Eddo, why are you so F**ing Fat?"
Eddo Brandes: "Because every time I F*** your mother, she throws me a biscuit"
Except I replaced biscuit with pie.
Trouble was it later turned out the kid's mother was actually dead!
I once got punched flat out onto my ass for saying something similar during a game. Posted it here before and don't really want to go back into it...
About 37 years ago me and my best mate Mickey wanted to go to Villa Park for the Semi v Stoke.The problem was he was a bit tight for cash.I said to him why dont you ask you brother for a few quid,my mate replied "him the tight fucker he wouldnt give you the steam of his piss"
All this years later that applies to Wenger and the board
I was going to go with the Glen Mcgrath story as well, but seeing as the aussie cricketers are the worlds greatest at sledging, ill go with another one.
I cant remember the player or the country, but this poor fucker just couldnt play to Shane Warne's bowling. He got out so many times that he believed the reason was mental. He went to see a shrink about it to try and free him from the turmoil of Warneys spin, and the story eventually got back to the oz bowler.
Innevitably, the next time the batsman played, he come out to bat during a Warne over. Shane had thought about what to say to get under his skin and decided rather than going for a big long winded approach purely said "what colour was the couch mate?"
Needless to say, Warney took his wicket moments later and then just said nothing....
Classic Warne!
Another good one i heard was from an aussie that came over to play cricket at my club (when i used to play) a few years ago. At some point during a game, when the ball struck the pad, the bowler would shout the usual "Owzat!!!" to plea for an LBW decision. On most occasions the batsman will always act innocent and will not make eye contact with the umpire. If his team spotted this, the whole fielding team would cheer and run in to congratulate the bowler on his wicket (even if the umpire didnt move!!!). On one occasion he recalls how he had a batsman walk all the way back to the pavillion (believing he was out) before they told him it was a wind up. Again, needless to say, he was out next ball! ;o)
Fred Trueman was the best cricket story I ever heard.
He was playing in a charity match where the umpire was related to the batsman. He bowled one ball, plum LBW, turned and shouted "Owzaaaaaat"?
The umpire just shook his head.
Next ball the batsman got an edge and nicked it to second slip for the catch. Again "Owzaaaaaat?" from Trueman. "Off the pad, not out" said the umpire.
Next ball and middle and leg stump went flying, bails everywhere.
Trueman turned to the umpire and without even cracking a smile said.......
Music related one, I was at a gig once, fairly small venue and unknown (and not very good) band. Between songs everything was fairly quiet and a bloke in the audience shouts out "play one the drummer knows"
The whole crowd, and even the band's frontman were cracking up for ages.
paperclip wrote:Music related one, I was at a gig once, fairly small venue and unknown (and not very good) band. Between songs everything was fairly quiet and a bloke in the audience shouts out "play one the drummer knows"
The whole crowd, and even the band's frontman were cracking up for ages.
) and their fans started booing us. As we left the pitch at full time they then started throwing (non-soiled 
) rolls of toilet paper at us (!)
