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Cricket For Dummies
Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 12:38 am
by pixie
In preparation for the Ashes this summer against Australia, this demonstrates how simple the rules of cricket really are:
You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.
Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.
When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side thats been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out.
Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in.
There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out.
When both sides have been in and all the men are out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!.
Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 10:01 am
by corkbarry
Explain that again
What happens if it rains? Why do they stop for lunch and tea? why do they break for drinks? why are they wearing pyjamas.
Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 2:25 pm
by projoe
you forgot to explain the 'Duckworth Lewis Method'
good luck
Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 5:02 pm
by g88ner
projoe wrote:you forgot to explain the 'Duckworth Lewis Method'
good luck
A quick run down of the LBW rule when bowling round the wicket would probably be beneficial, too.
After all, I'm sure
Gusher and out american friends are well and truely
stumped at the rules of this wonderful game!
Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 7:30 pm
by corkbarry
A strange Game where you can bowl a Maiden over and have a full toss and not get Jail
Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 9:46 am
by NBM
Might have my first net session tomorrow night, could be entertaining!
Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 10:47 am
by Charlie! Charlie!
NBM wrote:Might have my first net session tomorrow night, could be entertaining!
first ever?
Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 7:45 pm
by olgitgooner
In the old days, BOTH teams wore white.
How the fuck were you supposed to know which side has scored some goals?!!!!
Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 9:46 am
by NBM
Charlie! Charlie! wrote:NBM wrote:Might have my first net session tomorrow night, could be entertaining!
first ever?
Yeah, never played cricket at school (my school was crap). Only cricket experience is thrashing a tennis ball bowled underarm about a beach on holiday.
Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 12:07 pm
by SPUDMASHER
I'm surprised that the septics don't like it TBH. It is a game that is stacked full of stats. Surely that's what they live for.
I like going over to Chelmsford once a year or so and enjoying a days play. It's seriously relaxing. A few tins, cucumber sandwiches, deck chair and a days cricket. What more could you ask for.
Having said that, I'd swap it for 3 minutes inside Kelly Brook and the rest of the day up to my armpits in runny shite.
Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 12:15 pm
by flash gunner
SPUDMASHER wrote:I'm surprised that the septics don't like it TBH. It is a game that is stacked full of stats. Surely that's what they live for.
I like going over to Chelmsford once a year or so and enjoying a days play. It's seriously relaxing. A few tins, cucumber sandwiches, deck chair and a days cricket. What more could you ask for.
Having said that, I'd swap it for
3 minutes inside Kelly Brook and the rest of the day up to my armpits in runny shite.
3 minutes? You gonna fuck her twice then?
Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 12:17 pm
by NBM
flash gunner wrote:SPUDMASHER wrote:I'm surprised that the septics don't like it TBH. It is a game that is stacked full of stats. Surely that's what they live for.
I like going over to Chelmsford once a year or so and enjoying a days play. It's seriously relaxing. A few tins, cucumber sandwiches, deck chair and a days cricket. What more could you ask for.
Having said that, I'd swap it for
3 minutes inside Kelly Brook and the rest of the day up to my armpits in runny shite.
3 minutes? You gonna fuck her twice then?
And have a snooze in between goes!
Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 8:27 pm
by gusher311
SPUDMASHER wrote:I'm surprised that the septics don't like it TBH. It is a game that is stacked full of stats. Surely that's what they live for.
I like going over to Chelmsford once a year or so and enjoying a days play. It's seriously relaxing. A few tins, cucumber sandwiches, deck chair and a days cricket. What more could you ask for.
Having said that, I'd swap it for 3 minutes inside Kelly Brook and the rest of the day up to my armpits in runny shite.
We have baseball. No need for cricket.
Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 8:29 pm
by mcdowell42
gusher311 wrote:SPUDMASHER wrote:I'm surprised that the septics don't like it TBH. It is a game that is stacked full of stats. Surely that's what they live for.
I like going over to Chelmsford once a year or so and enjoying a days play. It's seriously relaxing. A few tins, cucumber sandwiches, deck chair and a days cricket. What more could you ask for.
Having said that, I'd swap it for 3 minutes inside Kelly Brook and the rest of the day up to my armpits in runny shite.
We have baseball. No need for cricket.
Oh yeah the world series which nobody outside of america competes in.
Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 8:33 pm
by gusher311
mcdowell42 wrote:gusher311 wrote:SPUDMASHER wrote:I'm surprised that the septics don't like it TBH. It is a game that is stacked full of stats. Surely that's what they live for.
I like going over to Chelmsford once a year or so and enjoying a days play. It's seriously relaxing. A few tins, cucumber sandwiches, deck chair and a days cricket. What more could you ask for.
Having said that, I'd swap it for 3 minutes inside Kelly Brook and the rest of the day up to my armpits in runny shite.
We have baseball. No need for cricket.
Oh yeah the world series which nobody outside of america competes in.
That's because we are the world