The Gooner Forum

Seeing as the season is over and im pretty fed up of talking about people that may or may not sign for us, or may or may not leave i thought it was time for something a bit different
The mention of Partridge from another thread has inspired me, lets see how many Alan Partridge quotes we can think of?

I will start you off with...

'Sonia, I have got you a video of West Country comedian Jethro, and had it signed by Bono'

'smell my cheese you mother!'

'monkey tennis?'

In an effort to keep this out of the basement and football related.

"That goalie has football pie all over his shirt!"

"Shit!! Did you see that?! He must have a foot like a traction engine!!"

Number 5 wrote:In an effort to keep this out of the basement and football related.

"That goalie has football pie all over his shirt!"

"Shit!! Did you see that?! He must have a foot like a traction engine!!"

Old school Partridge 'Yes, Yes, Yes, Yeeeeeesss, Its a goal, oh and another one' (as the bloke slams it into the back of the net after scoring)

Number 5 wrote:In an effort to keep this out of the basement and football related.

"That goalie has football pie all over his shirt!"

"Shit!! Did you see that?! He must have a foot like a traction engine!!"

You forgot ''back of the net''

I liked the quote when he was in the service station and had a just microwaved apple pie in his hand as a weapon.

The temperature inside this apple pie is over 1000 degrees. If I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will squirt out. Could go your way; could go mine. Either way, one of us is going down

or

It's hotter than the sun....

franksav63 wrote:

Number 5 wrote:In an effort to keep this out of the basement and football related.

"That goalie has football pie all over his shirt!"

"Shit!! Did you see that?! He must have a foot like a traction engine!!"

You forgot ''back of the net''

I liked the quote when he was in the service station and had a just microwaved apple pie in his hand as a weapon.

The temperature inside this apple pie is over 1000 degrees. If I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will squirt out. Could go your way; could go mine. Either way, one of us is going down

or

It's hotter than the sun....

'Michael has informed me we have enough supplies in here to last over a month, that said, i do have a radio show to present, so can we make friends and ill be on my way?

Swale_Gooner1985 wrote:

franksav63 wrote:

Number 5 wrote:In an effort to keep this out of the basement and football related.

"That goalie has football pie all over his shirt!"

"Shit!! Did you see that?! He must have a foot like a traction engine!!"

You forgot ''back of the net''

I liked the quote when he was in the service station and had a just microwaved apple pie in his hand as a weapon.

The temperature inside this apple pie is over 1000 degrees. If I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will squirt out. Could go your way; could go mine. Either way, one of us is going down

or

It's hotter than the sun....

'Michael has informed me we have enough supplies in here to last over a month, that said, i do have a radio show to present, so can we make friends and ill be on my way?

Being a teacher, do you see lots of chalk drawings of penis's drawn on pupils, (or even teacher's) backs, in your line of work, or do we just wait for Sami to come along with his semi-permanent one?

"Kiss my face"

'I'm going nowhere, Lynn. Quite literally - I'm on the ring road!'

not a quote but....


cock, piss partridge

norfbankN16 wrote:not a quote but....


cock, piss partridge

'Michael has changed the graffiti on my car now so it says Cook Pass Babtridge'

franksav63 wrote:

Swale_Gooner1985 wrote:

franksav63 wrote:

Number 5 wrote:In an effort to keep this out of the basement and football related.

"That goalie has football pie all over his shirt!"

"Shit!! Did you see that?! He must have a foot like a traction engine!!"

You forgot ''back of the net''

I liked the quote when he was in the service station and had a just microwaved apple pie in his hand as a weapon.

The temperature inside this apple pie is over 1000 degrees. If I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will squirt out. Could go your way; could go mine. Either way, one of us is going down

or

It's hotter than the sun....

'Michael has informed me we have enough supplies in here to last over a month, that said, i do have a radio show to present, so can we make friends and ill be on my way?

Being a teacher, do you see lots of chalk drawings of penis's drawn on pupils, (or even teacher's) backs, in your line of work, or do we just wait for Sami to come along with his semi-permanent one?

unfortunately the days of chalk are gone, so the number of chalk penis's has fallen, shame really! I could start it off using white board markers?

Swale_Gooner1985 wrote:

franksav63 wrote:

Swale_Gooner1985 wrote:

franksav63 wrote:

Number 5 wrote:In an effort to keep this out of the basement and football related.

"That goalie has football pie all over his shirt!"

"Shit!! Did you see that?! He must have a foot like a traction engine!!"

You forgot ''back of the net''

I liked the quote when he was in the service station and had a just microwaved apple pie in his hand as a weapon.

The temperature inside this apple pie is over 1000 degrees. If I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will squirt out. Could go your way; could go mine. Either way, one of us is going down

or

It's hotter than the sun....

'Michael has informed me we have enough supplies in here to last over a month, that said, i do have a radio show to present, so can we make friends and ill be on my way?

Being a teacher, do you see lots of chalk drawings of penis's drawn on pupils, (or even teacher's) backs, in your line of work, or do we just wait for Sami to come along with his semi-permanent one?

unfortunately the days of chalk are gone, so the number of chalk penis's has fallen, shame really! I could start it off using white board markers?

Yes, you can start with Sami's back...

"Well Sonia, that was classic intercourse. So... thanks!"

''If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plow the family into the soil, you blow up the tree, and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who is also your brother.''