How to make friends and alienate people

[Number 5]

Comrades, you may have noticed my unique styling’s have been absent from this place for a few weeks.

For some reason, I’m still having trouble figuring out why, I applied for a promotion in my job meaning more money but unfortunately more work and amazingly managed to get it. So I have been quite the worker these past few weeks with little time for much else. Anyway I think I may have buried this short lived career development with one fatally ill-timed but too good an opportunity to miss gag.

During a casual meeting with my new boss this afternoon the guy just set one up that I absolutely had to knock out of the park. I work in an educational field and the topic of conversation got around to the students. With one colleague proclaiming he had once done such a good job for a student they brought him a DKNY tie my new boss just had to trump that by asking if a student had ever asked any of us out and that when he used to work in my role one of the students asked him out.

Well what could I say other than

“Really? So what was he like?

“She Stuart, Sheâ€

[mrgnu1958]

YOUR SACKED!!!

[xDAVEYx]

seriously, if you get done for that, it would be poor form indeed. well played though, opportunities like that dont come up too often and can be missed

[merson_is_god]

Yeah you done bad!

A couple of years down the line, if you got to know the colleague better then yes maybe a joke like that would have been funny, but not in your first few weeks. He might think youre a prick or think hes gay!

Good luck in your new job but dont stew on it mate!

[DB10GOONER]

Quality batsmanship, 5!

But, yeah - you are fucked.

Remember reading abot a case in Dublin where a bloke got canned from a job for cracking a joke about a boss being gay and it turned out the boss was married with kids but was a closet gay. He thought he'd been outed and complained and got lawyers involved etc and it all went pear shaped. Bloke got "sacked" big time.

[RaM]

Hey, maybe that was all the sign your boss needed to ask you out now.

[Number 5]

Fuck that, I ain’t losing my job. No chance Lance. I was just going to file this under D for Dumbass things I shouldn’t oughtta have said, subcategory Sober. The drunk section is a little full at the moment.

[Cockerill's chin]

Sometimes, if somebody sets up the pins you've got to knock them down. You did well No.5

[merson_is_god]

It was a pretty ballsy thing to try and do as you're so new there!!

[digger]

If you get sacked for that it's an outrage.

At the very worst, your boss should think "Well, that new guy's a bit of a *word censored*"

[marcengels]

Hope yer get sacked you piece of shit

(only kidding...hope you get made surplus to requirements )



ps. welcome back..*word censored*

[Number 5]

He might think youre a prick....

At the very worst, your boss should think "Well, that new guy's a bit of a *word censored*"

Shit, he'd be right on both counts.

I guess that's why he's the boss, eh?

But he is a London based Manc, so what the fuck.

[merson_is_god]

Be careful about what you say now, I referred to a pregnant woman at work (who is very sensitive and always reports other staff members to management) as fatty but luckily everyone calls her Fatty now and I didnt get in trouble!

[littlefire]

Ah Numero Cinque! Surely in this (Equal Opps etc) day and age the gentleman couldn't possibly take exception to your suggestion that a same-sex liaison could have occurred? That would almost seem discriminatory on his part