Wilshire in Training Ground Fallout

redarmee_redarmee · Post by **redarmee_redarmee** » Mon Jul 19, 2010 5:48 pm

It's the first day back at training after the World Cup, and thankfully everyone came back fit. The players are chatting about their WC experiences, while Vela and Theo play in their giant Ferrari pedal cars they bought with their pocket money.

Someone walks onto the training ground surrounded by a cloud of smoke and gradually the squad recognise the face of Wilshere, swigging from a can of Stella. It is difficult to tell at first who it is, as one of his eyes is half-shut, and dark purple and blue in colour, and the recently broken nose is still taped up.

Wenger looks up and curses under his breath, instantly regretting letting Wilshere spend the summer with his new Bolton team-mates.

Wilshere swaggers over to the players - his gold chain bouncing on his chest. His new tattoos on his arms are healing nicely. He greets his team mates and they all try to ignore his farting - although theo giggles a bit.

Wilshere kicks his empty can at the goal and Almunia tries to catch it, but the can hits his left eye, the trainer has a quick look and says he will be out for 2 weeks. Wilshere pulls a fresh 6 pack from his large kit bag and offers them around. Wenger slaps Theo as he tries to grab one and takes advantage of a Wilshere coughing fit to grab the beer and kit bag from his hands. A couple of spliffs fall out but luckily only Eboue seems to recognise what they are, and he swiftly palms them.

Wenger steps over the pile of fresh green pleghm and tries to resore some calm by starting the training session.

Can we start with some elbowing asks Wilshere eagerly, and TV gives him the thumbs up. Wenger asks what he means and Wilshere demonstrates on TV, who falls to the ground in agony. As he is carried off Wilshere explains its part of the basic warmup at Bolton, to be used in the penalty box against the opposition.

Wenger holds his head in his hands and mutters something to himself. What about basic ankle techniques then? Before Wenger has a chance to respond, Wilshere throws the ball at the feet of Chamakh and then dives in with his studs showing.

As Chamakh screams and falls to the ground,Diaby is about to complain to Wenger that it's HIS job to injure his team mates in training. But by this time Wenger is screaming at the coach to get security, vowing he will never let players go on loan north of Watford ever again. Wilshere decks two of the security staff before they eventually restrain him.

After 10 minutes of ranting Wenger appears to have calmed down. But now there is a strange look in his eyes, one that frightens Theo and Vela, who scoot behind the bigger players to hide. Wenger walks slowly away, over to the car park, ignoring the shouts from his players. He pulls the shotgun from the boot of his car and sets the sat-nav for Burnden Way, Bolton - someone is going to pay for this.

OneBardGooner · Post by **OneBardGooner** » Mon Jul 19, 2010 6:18 pm

I'm Looking forward to Part two!

Post by **brazilianGOONER** » Mon Jul 19, 2010 6:18 pm

quality

btw, why people keep on calling him wilshire when it's wilshere? is wilshire a common name in england? ffs, most people spell it wrong

OneBardGooner · Post by **OneBardGooner** » Mon Jul 19, 2010 6:33 pm

brazilianGOONER wrote:
quality

btw, why people keep on calling him wilshire when it's wilshere? is wilshire a common name in england? ffs, most people spell it wrong

Perhaps because there is a a place called Wiltshire in Ingerlaand BG...a County (though more like a backward Town come village really)....mind you would know all about Village People wouldn't you! BG??

Post by **brazilianGOONER** » Mon Jul 19, 2010 6:50 pm

OneBardGooner wrote:
brazilianGOONER wrote:
quality

btw, why people keep on calling him wilshire when it's wilshere? is wilshire a common name in england? ffs, most people spell it wrong
Perhaps because there is a a place called Wiltshire in Ingerlaand BG...a County (though more like a backward Town come village really)....mind you would know all about Village People wouldn't you! BG??

my favourite band ever

redarmee_redarmee · Post by **redarmee_redarmee** » Mon Jul 19, 2010 7:15 pm

Had to fix the spelling mistake in the lad's name

euphoricone · Post by **euphoricone** » Mon Jul 19, 2010 7:29 pm

Well done!! I want more.

eccles · Post by **eccles** » Mon Jul 19, 2010 8:04 pm

thank the lord, I thought there had been a nuclear accident at London Colney

LyusN1 · Post by **LyusN1** » Mon Jul 19, 2010 8:43 pm

OneBardGooner wrote:
brazilianGOONER wrote:
quality

btw, why people keep on calling him wilshire when it's wilshere? is wilshire a common name in england? ffs, most people spell it wrong
Perhaps because there is a a place called Wiltshire in Ingerlaand BG...a County (though more like a backward Town come village really)....mind you would know all about Village People wouldn't you! BG??

Check a county map of England bG. Most counties that weren't originally ancient kingdoms have -shire at the end of it, and like OneBardGooner said there is a county called Wiltshire - hence confusion!

AAANDDD... I enjoyed reading this a lot! I wondered where it was going at first as I didn't realise it was fiction

OP you literally are an author!

Lethal · Post by **Lethal** » Mon Jul 19, 2010 9:48 pm

someone send this to gooner-ed,should be on the front page of the site

amazing

armagooner · Post by **armagooner** » Tue Jul 20, 2010 5:21 pm

very good lookin forward to the next episode

12thGooner · Post by **12thGooner** » Wed Jul 21, 2010 9:49 am

thats soo funny. ..

sycicsid · Post by **sycicsid** » Wed Jul 21, 2010 11:06 am

LMAO.Very Inventive. I like the part where Diaby claimed it was his duty to break team mates leg during training.