Desert Island Joke

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storrmin571
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Desert Island Joke

Post by storrmin571 »

A typical bloke, having split from his latest girlfriend,decided to take a
holiday.He booked himself on a cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is;until the ship sank.

>

>He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing; only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.

>

>In disbelief, he asks,

>'Where did you come from? How did you get here?'

>She replied,

>'I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise ship sank.'

>'Amazing,' he notes. 'You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you.'

'Oh,this thing?' explains the woman. 'I made the boat out of raw
material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree.'

'But, where did you get the tools?'
Oh, that was no problem,' replied the woman. 'On the south side of the
island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware.'
The guy is stunned. 'Let's row over to my place,' she says.

>After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in red and white.

>While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually,
It's not much but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?'No! No thank you,' he blurts out, still dazed. 'I can't take another drop of coconut juice.'

It's not coconut juice,' winks the woman. 'I have a still. How would you like a Pina Colada?'

Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk.
After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces,
I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor in the bathroom cabinet.'

No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom.

There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.

'This woman is amazing,' he muses. 'What next?'

When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically
positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her.


'Tell me,' she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, 'We've been out here for many months.
You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now,something you've been longing for?'

She stares into his eyes...

He swallows excitedly and tears start to form in his eyes...

>'F ***king hell, don't tell me you've got Sky Sports?'
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brazilianGOONER
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Post by brazilianGOONER »

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


fucking brilliant :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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DB10GOONER
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Post by DB10GOONER »

brazilianGOONER wrote::lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


fucking brilliant :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Jaysus, BG... where the fuck have you been since that joke first went around about 15 years ago...? :lol: :wink:
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brazilianGOONER
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Post by brazilianGOONER »

DB10GOONER wrote:
brazilianGOONER wrote::lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


fucking brilliant :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Jaysus, BG... where the fuck have you been since that joke first went around about 15 years ago...? :lol: :wink:
brazil, mate... that's why i know fuck all... :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Boomer
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Post by Boomer »

brazilianGOONER wrote:
DB10GOONER wrote:
brazilianGOONER wrote::lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


fucking brilliant :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Jaysus, BG... where the fuck have you been since that joke first went around about 15 years ago...? :lol: :wink:
brazil, mate... that's why i know fuck all... :lol: :lol: :lol:
Wow!
The joke that was 3 years ahead of its time. I bet it wasn't funny until 1998 when Skysport started. :lol:
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DB10GOONER
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Post by DB10GOONER »

Boomer wrote:
brazilianGOONER wrote:
DB10GOONER wrote:
brazilianGOONER wrote::lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


fucking brilliant :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Jaysus, BG... where the fuck have you been since that joke first went around about 15 years ago...? :lol: :wink:
brazil, mate... that's why i know fuck all... :lol: :lol: :lol:
Wow!
The joke that was 3 years ahead of its time. I bet it wasn't funny until 1998 when Skysport started. :lol:
Erm... please tell me you were being ironically stupid there Boomer... Skysports started in 1990 and started covering the PL in 1992... :oops: :oops: :oops:
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Boomer
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Post by Boomer »

DB10GOONER wrote:
Boomer wrote:
brazilianGOONER wrote:
DB10GOONER wrote:
brazilianGOONER wrote::lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


fucking brilliant :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Jaysus, BG... where the fuck have you been since that joke first went around about 15 years ago...? :lol: :wink:
brazil, mate... that's why i know fuck all... :lol: :lol: :lol:
Wow!
The joke that was 3 years ahead of its time. I bet it wasn't funny until 1998 when Skysport started. :lol:
Erm... please tell me you were being ironically stupid there Boomer... Skysports started in 1990 and started covering the PL in 1992... :oops: :oops: :oops:
No I wasn't.
SSN started in 1998. 8)
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DB10GOONER
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Post by DB10GOONER »

Boomer wrote:
DB10GOONER wrote:
Boomer wrote:
brazilianGOONER wrote:
DB10GOONER wrote: Jaysus, BG... where the fuck have you been since that joke first went around about 15 years ago...? :lol: :wink:
brazil, mate... that's why i know fuck all... :lol: :lol: :lol:
Wow!
The joke that was 3 years ahead of its time. I bet it wasn't funny until 1998 when Skysport started. :lol:
Erm... please tell me you were being ironically stupid there Boomer... Skysports started in 1990 and started covering the PL in 1992... :oops: :oops: :oops:
No I wasn't.
SSN started in 1998. 8)
:lol:

No one mentioned SSN... :wink:
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I Hate Hleb
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Post by I Hate Hleb »

brazilianGOONER wrote:
DB10GOONER wrote:
brazilianGOONER wrote::lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


fucking brilliant :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Jaysus, BG... where the fuck have you been since that joke first went around about 15 years ago...? :lol: :wink:
brazil, mate... that's why i know fuck all... :lol: :lol: :lol:
The thing is Brazilian, you laughed at it when it was on one of the Forum's Joke threads last time!! :shock: :oops: And the time before that!!! :oops: :oops: :wink: :lol: :lol: :wink:
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