As we're unlikely to see terraces again at football, this is the virtual equivalent where you can chat to your hearts content about all football matters and, obviously, Arsenal in particular. This forum encourages all Gooners to visit and contribute so please keep it respectful, clean and topical.
Just got back about an hour ago! Knackered! Had a lot of stick from mates and family but this was the best one from the Daily Mash. Sorry if it's been posted somewhere else but it will take me the rest of the night to read everything. If I have repeated I'll lock it.
THERE is no such thing as an Arsenal fan, it was confirmed last night.
Across north London the fan base of the unsuccessful football team suddenly ceased to exist as people previously believed to enjoy watching them said they had never even heard of Ian Wright.
Meanwhile thousands of puzzled Tottenham Hotspur fans banged loudly on neighbours' doors only to find that they had gone deaf or that the only sport they had ever enjoyed was rugby league.
Stephen Malley, from Highbury, said: "I find football to be rather ghastly and prefer to spend my Saturday afternoons browsing antique shops and looking for interesting teas.
"That? That's a cardboard cut out of Olaf Bergkamp. He is a concert pianist of some note though I believe his twin brother was a footballman who may have plied his trade in the vicinity.
"And yes, some concert pianists do like to wear shorts. They find it more comfortable."
Thierry McKay, from Islington, said that for some reason he had received 648 text messages from a Spurs-supporting acquaintance including one threatening to dawb 'Spurs Champion's League Quarter Finalists' on his forehead before forcing him to perform oral sex with a smile on his face.
He added: "What's a Gooner?"
Meanwhile Tottenham are celebrating their win over a Milan side with the combined age of Ben Nevis, and looking forward to their inevitable defeat in the next round, probably at the hands of something called a 'Schalke'.
The club has also arranged for a laminated printout of last night's result to be placed in the trophy cabinet at White Hart Lane alongside their 2008 Fair Play award and Ledley King's victorious £5 scratchcard.
Chippy wrote:Just got back about an hour ago! Knackered! Had a lot of stick from mates and family but this was the best one from the Daily Mash. Sorry if it's been posted somewhere else but it will take me the rest of the night to read everything. If I have repeated I'll lock it.
The club has also arranged for a laminated printout of last night's result to be placed in the trophy cabinet at White Hart Lane alongside their 2008 Fair Play award and Ledley King's victorious £5 scratchcard.
When I was just a little boy,
I asked my mother what will I be,
Will I be Arsenal, will I be Spurs,
And here's what she said to me: Go wash out your mouth son,
And go get your fathers gun,
Shoot some Tottenham Scum.
I remember a few years ago a Tory mp was found hanged in his garage,hands tied behind his back,wearing stockings,suspenders,crotchless panties and high heels.He was also biting on a small orange,and the police concluded that he was the unfortunate victim of "Auto-Erotic Asphixiation."He was also apparently wearing a spurs shirt,but the police held back that detail as they didn't want to upset his family!
Meanwhile Tottenham are celebrating their win over a Milan side with the combined age of Ben Nevis, and looking forward to their inevitable defeat in the next round, probably at the hands of something called a 'Schalke'.
The club has also arranged for a laminated printout of last night's result to be placed in the trophy cabinet at White Hart Lane alongside their 2008 Fair Play award and Ledley King's victorious £5 scratchcard.
