A LANGUAGE MY ARSE

goonersid · Post by **goonersid** » Thu Apr 07, 2011 2:46 pm

This is a piece of literature giving advice to those who supposedly speak "Ulster Scot" on how to fill in a census form.
How on earth they can claim it is a language in it's own right is beyond me. As I can't or should I say cannnae speak Ulster Scot, yet I can understand it almost perfectly.
It's actually quite funny.
Hae a read o this afore
ye fill yer Census foarm in.
Thir blauds is brocht oot in yer ain leid fur yer aise takkin pairt in tha 2001 Census.
Tha Inglis leid 2001 Census foarm ye be gart fill in, an thir owresettit blauds ettlesat giein ye a hannle a-daein it.
Tha follaein blauds haes aa tha spierins an guideins frae tha 2001 Census NorlinAirlann Hoose Foarm up til an takkin in tha furst boadie in yer hoose, an ye maunfill tha spierins in fur ilka boadie at bides in yer hoose. Tha spierins is tha same furilka boadie, sae ye can uise tha owersettin on blauds sÃ¤x til echt fur an unnÃ¨rstannin quhitwye tha spierins fur ilka boadie leevin in yer hoose micht be filled in.
Gin ye hae onie bother, ye can gie tha Census Helpline a blaa on 0845 3020011, an ax fur a haun fillin tha Census foarm in.Tha Census bis a coont o tha hale feck o
fowk an is daen ilka ten yeir. Census wittins gets uised fur tha guid o us aa â€“
we maun aa be coontit sae as we can hae an be fur haein aa tha sarvices we hae
need o.
Census nummers is warth a-haein fur biggin a guid the morra fur yin an aa.
Tha Census is daen in hidlins â€“ wittins anent yer ain sel winnae kythe ava.
UnnÃ¨r tha laa ye maun fill tha Census foarm in an retÃ¹rn it.
Pit tha Census foarm in tha poast ben tha repone-peyed envelope tha quÃ¤ck ye can
eftÃ¨r
Sunday 29t Aprile.
Norlin Airlann

xDAVEYx · Post by **xDAVEYx** » Thu Apr 07, 2011 3:07 pm

thats like reading the broons pissed

Post by **HashKads** » Thu Apr 07, 2011 3:44 pm

Did Boomer write it?

Post by **I Hate Hleb** » Thu Apr 07, 2011 3:56 pm

kingjayson1 wrote:Did Boomer write it?

Not sure there were enough spelling mistakes for it to have been Boomer's handiwork.

Henry Norris 1913 · Post by **Henry Norris 1913** » Thu Apr 07, 2011 6:44 pm

I think he's speaking gaelic

not a good sign around here if you know what i mean

Post by **REB** » Fri Apr 08, 2011 7:11 am

not gaelic but fuck thats bad

RoscommonGooner · Post by **RoscommonGooner** » Fri Apr 08, 2011 7:46 am

Henry Norris 1913 wrote:I think he's speaking gaelic

not a good sign around here if you know what i mean

PÃ³g mo thÃ³in

Post by **flash gunner** » Fri Apr 08, 2011 8:01 am

RoscommonGooner wrote:
Henry Norris 1913 wrote:I think he's speaking gaelic

not a good sign around here if you know what i mean
PÃ³g mo thÃ³in

Do you Irish chaps have a keyboard with the little accents on?

or am i being thick

RoscommonGooner · Post by **RoscommonGooner** » Fri Apr 08, 2011 8:13 am

flash gunner wrote:
RoscommonGooner wrote:
Henry Norris 1913 wrote:I think he's speaking gaelic

not a good sign around here if you know what i mean
PÃ³g mo thÃ³in

Do you Irish chaps have a keyboard with the little accents on? or am i being thick

No Dell have made a special keyboard for the Irish and French markets.

Post by **REB** » Fri Apr 08, 2011 8:26 am

OneBardGooner · Post by **OneBardGooner** » Sat Apr 09, 2011 6:08 am

kingjayson1 wrote:Did Boomer write it?

Post by **DB10GOONER** » Sat Apr 09, 2011 9:35 am

On a serious note; It's not a language but is is a dialect. And if there is ever going to be true peace in this fucked up land of ours then I have no problem pandering to them a bit.