The Gooner Forum

This is a piece of literature giving advice to those who supposedly speak "Ulster Scot" on how to fill in a census form.
How on earth they can claim it is a language in it's own right is beyond me. As I can't or should I say cannnae speak Ulster Scot, yet I can understand it almost perfectly.
It's actually quite funny.
Hae a read o this afore
ye fill yer Census foarm in.
Thir blauds is brocht oot in yer ain leid fur yer aise takkin pairt in tha 2001 Census.
Tha Inglis leid 2001 Census foarm ye be gart fill in, an thir owresettit blauds ettlesat giein ye a hannle a-daein it.
Tha follaein blauds haes aa tha spierins an guideins frae tha 2001 Census NorlinAirlann Hoose Foarm up til an takkin in tha furst boadie in yer hoose, an ye maunfill tha spierins in fur ilka boadie at bides in yer hoose. Tha spierins is tha same furilka boadie, sae ye can uise tha owersettin on blauds säx til echt fur an unnèrstannin quhitwye tha spierins fur ilka boadie leevin in yer hoose micht be filled in.
Gin ye hae onie bother, ye can gie tha Census Helpline a blaa on 0845 3020011, an ax fur a haun fillin tha Census foarm in.Tha Census bis a coont o tha hale feck o
fowk an is daen ilka ten yeir. Census wittins gets uised fur tha guid o us aa –
we maun aa be coontit sae as we can hae an be fur haein aa tha sarvices we hae
need o.
Census nummers is warth a-haein fur biggin a guid the morra fur yin an aa.
Tha Census is daen in hidlins – wittins anent yer ain sel winnae kythe ava.
Unnèr tha laa ye maun fill tha Census foarm in an retùrn it.
Pit tha Census foarm in tha poast ben tha repone-peyed envelope tha quäck ye can
eftèr
Sunday 29t Aprile.
Norlin Airlann

thats like reading the broons pissed

Did Boomer write it?

kingjayson1 wrote:Did Boomer write it?

Not sure there were enough spelling mistakes for it to have been Boomer's handiwork.

I think he's speaking gaelic




not a good sign around here if you know what i mean

not gaelic but fuck thats bad

Henry Norris 1913 wrote:I think he's speaking gaelic




not a good sign around here if you know what i mean

Póg mo thóin

RoscommonGooner wrote:

Henry Norris 1913 wrote:I think he's speaking gaelic




not a good sign around here if you know what i mean

Póg mo thóin

Do you Irish chaps have a keyboard with the little accents on? or am i being thick

flash gunner wrote:

RoscommonGooner wrote:

Henry Norris 1913 wrote:I think he's speaking gaelic




not a good sign around here if you know what i mean

Póg mo thóin

Do you Irish chaps have a keyboard with the little accents on? or am i being thick

No Dell have made a special keyboard for the Irish and French markets.

kingjayson1 wrote:Did Boomer write it?

On a serious note; It's not a language but is is a dialect. And if there is ever going to be true peace in this fucked up land of ours then I have no problem pandering to them a bit.