Spying On My Kids

[augie]

I really need some technical assistance here people - I have 2 boys (aged 10 and 8years old) and santa claus, in his ultimate wisdom, brought them an ipod touch each last Christmas. All was going well until they discovered that they can message some of their friends through an app on ipod (we wont allow them mobile phones at their age) and they are constantly on it now The problem is that not many of their friends have access to apple products so they are sending and receiving messages from girls in their school that are aged approx 12 years old and that has created the problem that we are now facing - last night one of the girls was texting my youngest (8 years old remember) and he told her that he had to stop cos he was going to bed and she sent him back a message asking if she could join him You could have knocked me with a feather - how the fcuk do you react to something like that ? In my wife's case the answer is not too well

Anyway this has rose the whole subject of observing what is going on with their messaging and of course the clashes over the right to privacy - they both have passwords that we don't not know so we can neither go in and block any sender nor can we check what is being sent back and forth. Does anybody please have any advice or any recommendations on an app or software that will allow us to check their ipod's from our ipads ? I know there is an app called logmein but if that is password locked at the time will it allow me ?

Please any helpful advice would be great

[QuartzGooner]

If the kids are talking about such things on instant messaging then they will be talking about them in person too.
Not pleasant to know, but the only way round it is to live in an isolated religious community.
And even then there is no guarantee.

[LDB]

Maybe you could take the ipods back to the apple store and see if they will swap them for a version that doesn't get this app?

[Top Londoner]

This is my bruv's field of expertise, he is due home from work in an hour or so. He will have the answers. Shall post.
I'm computer stupid.

[REB]

its a nightmare augie, I have a 15 and 14 year old in the house and the shite they get up to on facebook etc is shocking,ive cancelled there account, took away the computer etc ,but its this generation growing up, once walked in and the lad was watching cartoon porn you should have seen his face when I walked into the room not a lot you can do im afraid and I hate to say it but it will get worse,

[northbank123]

More importantly where were all these slutty older girls when I was at school????

[the playing mantis]

8 years old wtf! and a 4 yr older girl saying this ti him, again wtf! are yu sure this isnt just innocent kids stuff (at 8 and 10 surely it must be) or is this jsut the oirish for ya?! why did this never happen at my school when we were 14, 15 16! o to have grown up in ireland

in all seriousness, cant u accidentally 'lose' them or damage them and 'have to' buy them new ones that u can then thus block/filter whatever/password override (obviously depending on being able to buy new ones, i have no idea how much ipod touchs cost as im not an apple man)

[g88ner]

I'm sure it's all innocent, Augie.

I can understand your dilema, but I'm sure it was no different when I was a kid - the only difference nowadays is that with texting, facebook, etc. kids can say what they like without having to look the person in the eye, and I think that leads to more outlandish remarks. As we see on this forum,the internet brings out a confidence/detachment in people that makes them think it's okay to post more extreme/abusive/controversial comments than they would ever dream of making in person... and I'm sure children are no different... if not worse!

It's the digital age mate, and you're fighting a losing battle. You could go live on a kibutz, I suppose?

[augie]

Lads I know that is all innocent but it is leading to questions that I ain't ready to answer yet (will I ever be ready ? ) . My misses is having an absolute meltdown which is both and at the same time. It was her idea to get the fcuking things in the first place but now she is blaming everybody else (inc me ) for this situation. She is in no way gadget friendly (iron and kettle comments come to mind ) and she hasn't a clue that when you buy these things you are opening a door to a whole range of things and of course you can't unring a bell. The older lad is the bigger problem here - he is at an age where he is demanding total privacy and has recently changed his password to restrict our access and I just thought that there was an app that I could install on their iPods which would allow us access without them knowing.

Thanks anyway lads

[Dan_85]

There are parental restrictions on iPod touch i believe, like there are on iPhone & iPad. In the settings you can password protect certain apps to stop them being used but if the kids know the password then it's useless and the "hey, we're gonna change your password so you can't use iMessage" chat probably won't go down too well.

Or there's something like this if you don't mind spending a few quid, to keep an eye on what they're up to; https://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/watchov ... 12586?mt=8 I don't know about stuff like that though, kinda sends out a bad message I think, builds mistrust between kids and parents?

Kids are smart though, they'll almost always find a way around things like this. I fear you might need to have "the chat"

[Top Londoner]

Sorry augie.
My bruv suggested that you take the devices away from the children. Some bloody expert he is.

[flash gunner]

More importantly where were all these slutty older girls when I was at school????

Absolutely

Sorry augie have no idea how to stop your kids doing this sort of thing other than taking the things away from them away of course

[QuartzGooner]

It's the digital age mate, and you're fighting a losing battle. You could go live on a kibutz, I suppose?

Kibbutzes are highly connected to the internet these days, though religious ones would have software that blocks certain sites.

I think Augie has to join the Amish, or become a Hasidic Jew.

The only families I personally know where this kind of thing does not happen are Jewish families where the parents have one computer in the house, with an adult software blocker, and stay in the room whilst the kids use it and check every couple of minutes what sites the kids are viewing.
There is no television or newspaper in the house either, and only one radio.

The kids have mobiles, but they are old fashioned ones with calls and texts messages only.
The parents make sure that the kids socialise only with friends from their schools, all of whom live by the same rules.

Even then, could the parents be certain that the kids do not go off and use an internet cafe?
No.
But they have hope that their education and worldview would mean they would not want to.

[goonersid]

Have you tried beating them with a belt?



No seriously I don't think there is much you can do other than take away the ipads.
Also take what they write and receive with a pinch of salt. They are kids and are copying what they hear on TV and in the street and don't fully comprehend it.

[Dan_85]

Have you tried beating them with a belt?