I need help -fast!

[The Joy of Cesc]

What can I say to the Spurs fan I have to work with when he comes to crow tomorrow morning? Someone must have something I can use!

[The Joy of Cesc]

Because if I punch his lights out, I'll get the sack

[g88ner]

Tell him to judge us in May (where have I heard that before...? )

[The Joy of Cesc]

Tell him to judge us in May (where have I heard that before )

[The Joy of Cesc]

It does seem familiar, can't think where I've heard it though

[Jonny_Gooner]

Ask him how many 4th place trophies they've won! That should put him in his place...

[The Joy of Cesc]

Seriously, I hate the bloke. He's a mouthy sod, has never learned that sometimes its better to keep your trap shut. He can't say nothing except to say something. I've had months of him going on about how old I am (I'm 47) - he shut up briefly when I called him out on it and told him that as I have early stage chronic renal failure, my life may not be as long as it could have been. And that's the only time he's ever piped down. The fact that he supports that load of shite gives me more reason to detest him.

[g88ner]

We've not got much to brag about at the moment, so just go into full patronising mode, and say:

"well yeah, it's been 17 years since you last finished above us, so maybe this year is your year, eh? you can't always be wrong, and I suppose it's nice to have dreams"

Either that or agree with him that we're shit, and say:

"yes, it's getting embarrassing - it's been a long 9 years since we last won the league ... obviously not 51 years like you lot, but still... in another 42 years from now we'll be in the same boat!"

Sorry, that's all I've got

[The Joy of Cesc]

We've not got much to brag about at the moment, so just go into full patronising mode, and say:

"well yeah, it's been 17 years since you last finished above us, so maybe this year is your year, eh? you can't always be wrong, and I suppose it's nice to have dreams"

Either that or agree with him that we're shit, and say:

"yes, it's getting embarrassing - it's been a long 9 years since we last won the league ... obviously not 51 years like you lot, but still... in another 42 years from now we'll be in the same boat!"

Sorry, that's all I've got

That should do nicely - thanks!

[Perryashburtongroves]

Because if I punch his lights out, I'll get the sack

Fuck it, just do it anyway.

[euphoricone]

'Hows the Crystal palace vs Tottenham DVD coming along?'

[Ben Diesel]

What are you doing here? Why aren't you taking the day off to watch the open-top bus parade?

[Rosie_titters]

just agree with what ever he says, i found this works best, the fuckers soon get bored and piss off, if you take the bait and rise to it, they will wind you up.

I work with 4 tottenham fans, after losing to Bradford last year, i expected the usual piss take, but i just went in to work, said "yep, we were crap and Wenger is a wanker". they just walked off.

But don't forget to take the piss big time, when they lose

[afcforever]

You had a wash you smelly *word censored*

[northbank123]

Yep just agree with everything he says and enthusiastically chime in with comments like:

"Yes, you're probably going to win the league this year. I mean I know you thought you had a chance in 2012 before you finished 5th but it's definitely different this year"

"Gareth Bale probably won't go to Real Madrid this summer"

"You're probably the biggest club in North London too"

"Ledley King was probably the best British centre-half since Bobby Moore and if he stayed fit he definitely would have stayed at Spurs and led them to glory"

"Sol Campbell probably regretted moving to Arsenal and certainly didn't further his career by doing so. At least you got a good fee though"