Premier League "Guide to Attending a Match"

[Leyton Gooner]

Hammers supporting mate sent me this earlier.

Don't know whether to laugh or cry. Surprised Arsenal PLC haven't sent everyone on their mailing list a copy yet

http://www.premierleague.com/content/pr ... match.html

[DB10GOONER]

THAT HAS GOT TO BE A WIND UP!!! IT'S TOO FUNNY NOT TO BE!!!

I'm pissing myself laughing here.

"Many supporters like to wear replica kit or official club colours, such as branded shirts, scarves and hats. Dress comfortably and check the weather forecast before you leave."



Customers. The word they meant when they wrote "supporters" was "customers".

[DB10GOONER]

"Teams enter the pitch to their own individual songs which help to build up a great atmosphere. Clubs advise fans to take their seats around 20 minutes before kick-off, so you don’t miss any of the pre-match excitement."

[goonertux]

What a reflection of football in 2015!!!
You have to read 'Getting on With Each Other'. Absolute comedy gold.

[Rugby Gooner]

Football as we once knew it is totally and utterly FUCKED!!!

I "love" the bit about trying to make sure that you wear the "branded" shirts! c***s!

[flash gunner]

I fucking give up with 21st century football

There has to be another sport to get into, isn't there ?

[SteveO 35]

I can't even be arsed to read it for fear of putting my fist through the laptop screen......does it mention spending a fortune on cheaply produced tat in the official club store or taking endless selfies throughout the 90 minutes?

[Leyton Gooner]

I can't even be arsed to read it for fear of putting my fist through the laptop screen......does it mention spending a fortune on cheaply produced tat in the official club store or taking endless selfies throughout the 90 minutes?

A visit to a Premier League ground is not complete without a trip to the club shop/megastore. Clubs offer a wide range of merchandise from key rings and mugs to replica shirts where you can have your name printed on the back of your shirt

[SteveO 35]

I can't even be arsed to read it for fear of putting my fist through the laptop screen......does it mention spending a fortune on cheaply produced tat in the official club store or taking endless selfies throughout the 90 minutes?

A visit to a Premier League ground is not complete without a trip to the club shop/megastore. Clubs offer a wide range of merchandise from key rings and mugs to replica shirts where you can have your name printed on the back of your shirt

I fucking knew it - empty your wallet and pay £75 quid for a made in Taiwan special with the name of a player 20 years your junior on the back of it

By the way - men over the age of 30 wearing named football shirts? Is there anything right about that?

[DB10GOONER]

I just read it again! It is the best thing I've ever read!

Football is dead.

[Redarmy]

Yes Feel sad for a lot of you fans now, different times different expectations

They have sanitised football to meet the requirements of the modern customer

Only the game on the field remains now, and in that respect has improved, remember the standard of pitches was unbelievable

The atmosphere and fan experience more than made up for it though, getting to a game 2 hours before kick off to a packed Highbury

We had Chelsea in the cup and left school early as it was a night game, got in about 5.0 along with over 60,000 others....packed with fans, atmosphere buzzing with hours to go.....

A lot changed since then with Bradford and Heysel..........Yes Football as an experience is fucked and that will never return

[Leyton Gooner]

If you are new to football we hope you enjoy your visit to a Barclays Premier League match. If you've been attending football games since before 1992, FUCK OFF

[DB10GOONER]

I can't even be arsed to read it for fear of putting my fist through the laptop screen......does it mention spending a fortune on cheaply produced tat in the official club store or taking endless selfies throughout the 90 minutes?

A visit to a Premier League ground is not complete without a trip to the club shop/megastore. Clubs offer a wide range of merchandise from key rings and mugs to replica shirts where you can have your name printed on the back of your shirt

I fucking knew it - empty your wallet and pay £75 quid for a made in Taiwan special with the name of a player 20 years your junior on the back of it

By the way - men over the age of 30 wearing named football shirts? Is there anything right about that?

It's a cultural cynicism thing peculiar to these Islands, mate. I have a couple Yank mates that proudly wear their NFL or NBA tops with names of players 20 years younger than them on the back and they wouldn't be seen dead without that name on there. They tell me that is quite common back in the States. To be honest it's one of the things I kinda like about Americans - that ability to enjoy something without choking it to death with cynicism.

Personally, I agree with you though, I would be mortified to wear an Arsenal jersey with "Wilshere" on the back at my age!

[nut flush gooner]

I can't even be arsed to read it for fear of putting my fist through the laptop screen......does it mention spending a fortune on cheaply produced tat in the official club store or taking endless selfies throughout the 90 minutes?

A visit to a Premier League ground is not complete without a trip to the club shop/megastore. Clubs offer a wide range of merchandise from key rings and mugs to replica shirts where you can have your name printed on the back of your shirt

I fucking knew it - empty your wallet and pay £75 quid for a made in Taiwan special with the name of a player 20 years your junior on the back of it

By the way - men over the age of 30 wearing named football shirts? Is there anything right about that?

It's a cultural cynicism thing peculiar to these Islands, mate. I have a couple Yank mates that proudly wear their NFL or NBA tops with names of players 20 years younger than them on the back and they wouldn't be seen dead without that name on there. They tell me that is quite common back in the States. To be honest it's one of the things I kinda like about Americans - that ability to enjoy something without choking it to death with cynicism.

Personally, I agree with you though, I would be mortified to wear an Arsenal jersey with "Wilshere" on the back at my age!

Indeed fat middle aged men shouldn't wear replica shirts with sanchez on them!

A lot of older fan never wear colours mind. I don't buy the replica shirts anymore but Arsenal do a good range of polo shirts which don't cost the earth and can be worn on non match days.