If Premiership Teams Were Women (jokes)

Post by **Belfast Boy** » Mon Jul 16, 2007 3:47 pm

Or another variation of that theme -
what did Mickey Mouse get for his birthday - a Spurs watch

Post by **REB** » Mon Jul 16, 2007 3:47 pm

wat do prawns hav 4 lunch.... man u fan sandwiches

Post by **Belfast Boy** » Mon Jul 16, 2007 3:51 pm

Or another one - The real reason for the Liverpool takeover emerged yesterday when it was revealed that it was Tom Hicks Jnr's birthday and he'd asked his dad for a cowboy outfit

dbrien · Post by **dbrien** » Mon Jul 16, 2007 4:36 pm

Having won the league unbeaten, Arsene Wenger receives a call from Alex Ferguson asking if he can watch Arsenal train and pick up some tips. AW agrees.

On the first day in the middle of training Wenger asks Dennis Bergkamp

'Who am I? I am not your brother but I am your fathers son'

Dennis replies immediately 'you are me'

Ferguson watches confused then asks Wenger what it was all about and Wenger says it is to keep the players mental ability in tip top condition and that everyday he asks a player at random a logic question.

Impressed Fergie goes back to that shit hole called Manchester and at training stops Rooney and says

'Wayne, who am I? I am not your brother but I am your fathers son?

The ugly Monsters Inc extra says 'I dunno, can I think about it?

That night he is at home and thought he would ring Dennis and ask for his help. I don't know how he gets his number - that is not important.

'Dennis its the ugly troll from Manchester'

'oh hello Wayne'

'This question, who am I etc, what is the answer?'

'Its easy you Simpsons Extra, it's you'

The next day he goes to training and goes straight up to the red nosed prick and says

'I know the answer, it's me' to which fergie replies 'och don't be so fucking stupid, it's Dennis Bergkamp!

Boom Boom

David Beckham at a cigarette machine putting loads of money in when a man asks if he could use the machine. Becks replies 'no, cant you see I am winning!

All_Arsenal_1886 · Post by **All_Arsenal_1886** » Mon Jul 16, 2007 4:37 pm

Loving the jokes

All_Arsenal_1886 · Post by **All_Arsenal_1886** » Mon Jul 16, 2007 4:43 pm

Manchester United Directors - why spend Â£3 million on a new 3 tier stand at Old Trafford?
Why not relocate and build a brand new stadium somewhere near London to reward your loyal lifelong supporters with a shorter journey home after matches.

All_Arsenal_1886 · Post by **All_Arsenal_1886** » Mon Jul 16, 2007 4:49 pm

Four surgeons are having a coffee break.
1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is colour coded."
4th surgeon says "I prefer Man U fans. They're gutless, spineless, heartless and their heads are interchangeable."

green gooner · Post by **green gooner** » Mon Jul 16, 2007 4:51 pm

Birmingham City like Ms Carey

In that case I wouldn't mind comming from behind and being 6 or 7 up and dishing out a damned good spanking!

Chopper · Post by **Chopper** » Mon Jul 16, 2007 7:39 pm

Angelina Jolie and Arsenal? Sounds like a great night to me!

Loving the jokes guys.

Cashley dies and amazingly goes to heaven. Before he gets to the pearly gates St Peter stops him and says 'before you enter you can have one last request'. Cashley thinks about it and says 'i'd like a curry made out of all my old Nokia's'. 'Why on earth would you want that' said St Peter? 'I'd just like to feel them buzzing out of my arse one more time'!

Post by **Belfast Boy** » Mon Jul 16, 2007 8:57 pm

Arsenal man wearin his colours leavin OT after another stonkin away win, sees a strange lookin bottle lyin on the ground, so he picks it up and rubs it and 'poof' (no offence Cashley) out pops a genie who sez immediately "your wish is my command, I shall grant you three wishes" but bein a manc genie he's ragin when he notices our proud son is wearin the red of London not Manchester, so he sneakily adds "but what ever you wish for every ManU fan will recieve double, so the lad thinks for a second and sez ok - I would like a million quid cash in my bank account, the genie obliges but reminds him that every ManUre fan now has 2M in their bank accounts, then the cockney lad tells the genie I would like a brand spankin Ferrari parked in my drive, the genie replies "it is done" but sneeringly reminds him that every Manc now has two new Ferraris and that he has only one more wish, no problem sez the young Gooner, finally, I'd like to donate a kidney

Drone · Post by **Drone** » Mon Jul 16, 2007 10:06 pm

Tonnysaunders dat was an HAMMER :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

If Premiership Teams Were Women (jokes)

Hammer