400 Already i think i have to much time on my hands

Post by **DB10GOONER** » Mon Jul 23, 2007 10:13 pm

MK Gould wrote:Well done, All_Arsenal_1886!!!

You've actually overtaken DB10Gooner.....once you've taken off all his double posts !

Thems is fighting words there, Mr Gould!!

Actually that reminds me of a joke...

This timid little accountant leaves the city and the rat race and moves into an old isolated house out in the woods of Alabama. His redneck neighbour calls over. The neighbour is about 6'5" tall and clocks in at 300 lbs of pure muscle.

The neighbour says, "Howdy, boy. Came over to invite y'all to a party at my place tonight."

"Great," says the accountant. "I can't wait to meet my new neighbours!"

"Well," says the redneck, "I oughta warn ya. There's gonna be some drinking. We like the drinking in these here parts."

"That's fine," says the accountant. " I can hold my drink with the best of them."

"Ok," says the redneck. "But I oughta warn ya, there may be some fighting. Folks a here abouts can get a might mean with the drinking."

"No problem," says the accountant. "I'm a fifth Dan black belt in Karate. I can take care of myself."

"Ok," says the redneck. " But I oughta warn ya, there's probably gonna be alot of casual sex at this here party."

The accountant thinks for a moment and then decides what the hell. "Sure," he says. "Ok. I'll try anything once! What should I wear then? Formal or informal?"

"Don't matter much," says the redneck. "Only gonna be the two of us..."

BOOM! BOOM!

I'll get me coat...

stearmaster · Post by **stearmaster** » Mon Jul 23, 2007 10:14 pm

ok must have been that then, cheers for the update ed.

Chunky The Gooner · Post by **Chunky The Gooner** » Mon Jul 23, 2007 10:19 pm

Ha a very good evening to our well informed Gooner ED. Whats the Freddy stay/go story then boss ?

Post by **DB10GOONER** » Mon Jul 23, 2007 10:25 pm

gooner.ed wrote:double postings do count as 2 posts, but when they are spotted and deleted they come off the total. they aren't always spotted though. i don't have enough hours in the day to read all the threads on the forum, but hopefully my fellow moderators spot some and do the necessary

Jaysus. Would someone really double post (apart from the well known accidental "impatience" posts) just to get their numbers up???

Gooner Ed, maybe you could get Tony Saunders to review all the posts and write a report detailing what percentage of posts before 5pm and what percentage after 5pm are doubles? It could be like a moderators initiation or something...

proudtosaythatname · Post by **proudtosaythatname** » Mon Jul 23, 2007 10:31 pm

All I know is without all you guys on this website I'd have gone raving mad in the last few weeks with what's been happening to the Arsenal. So thanks guys.

MK Gould · Post by **MK Gould** » Mon Jul 23, 2007 10:34 pm

DB10 - Good joke - although I wish people would lay off Accountants all the time!

Do I take it that you are admitting that some of your mamouth total is made up of double posts..... Shame! Go get him Jenkins.....!

Galasso · Post by **Galasso** » Mon Jul 23, 2007 10:44 pm

Nice ironic double posting there MK

Post by **DB10GOONER** » Tue Jul 24, 2007 10:34 am

Yes, excellent use of irony, a gift lost upon our American cousins!!

And from an accountant!!!!

Or an Accountant sympathiser...

Which is it Mr Gould?

All_Arsenal_1886 · Post by **All_Arsenal_1886** » Tue Jul 24, 2007 7:09 pm

Cheers guys i just want to say big thanks to you all

Oh might not be on here as much because i started work again today because im finally feelin fit enough

mind you its with my dad and he is self employed, so i think i might get a few days off

Chunky The Gooner · Post by **Chunky The Gooner** » Tue Jul 24, 2007 8:24 pm

Do they all count all arsenal 1886 ? As 399 of the posts were about Matty Taylor !!

gus ceasar is a legend · Tue Jul 24, 2007 9:15 pm

Matty Taylor!

Who is he?

Post by **DB10GOONER** » Wed Jul 25, 2007 7:39 am

All_Arsenal_1886 wrote:Cheers guys i just want to say big thanks to you all

Oh might not be on here as much because i started work again today because im finally feelin fit enough mind you its with my dad and he is self employed, so i think i might get a few days off

Glad to hear you're back on your feet AA1886!

I worked for my old man's company for a while back in the day and days off were no problemo, trust me...

Dad's are great.

Hey! I'm a Dad. Twice! I'm great!

Post by **Dicko** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 7:00 pm

Ok I've not been on here most of the close season so just assumed.All_Arsenal_1886 you were a student on summer holidays or something.............................................So you've been ill?

If you have great news that you're back well.

I have a lot of reading to do..........................

U.F.G Anfield '89 · Post by **U.F.G Anfield '89** » Fri Jul 27, 2007 7:38 pm

so mr DB10 it's jokes is it, fine here we go:

There's this horny gorilla right, and when i say horny i mean horny, he's desperate for a shag so he goes down the watering hole (where all the action is) but all he can see there is a lioness, he knows it's dangerous and he could be killed but he's desperate, he thinks that if he holds on tight enough then the lioness won't get at him, not thinking of course of what will happen afterwards.

so he climbs on and fucks the lioness, and when he finishes she is really pissed off, and the gorilla at that moment thinks oh shit, she's going to kill me. so he legs it into the woods, with the lioness in hot pursuit.

when the gorilla, still being chased by the lioness gets to the clearing he sees an explorer sitting by his tent smoking a pipe, wearing a pith cap and reading the times, when the explorer sees the gorilla he legs it into the woods leaving behind his cap, his pipe and his newspaper.

thinking quickly the gorilla heads into the explorers tent and puts on his spare clothes, then he goes out side, puts on the cap, starts smoking the pipe and reading the paper nonchalantly. A few moments later the lioness enters the clearing and goes up to the gorilla, and says "did you see a gorilla come this way?" and the gorilla forgetting himself looks over the top of his newspaper and replies "what, the one that fucked the lioness?" and the lioness says "oh god, it's not in the papers already is it?"

boom boom

sorry for the horrendous longness of the joke, but it's the way you tell them, isn't it?