Joke time

It's all a load of Cannonballs in here! This is the virtual Arsenal pub where you can chat about anything except football. Be warned though, like any pub, the content may not always be suitable for everyone.
User avatar
brazilianGOONER
Posts: 9208
Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2009 11:27 am
Location: i think we're parked, man
Contact:

Post by brazilianGOONER »

Gooner_Sam wrote:The game against Liverpool has arrived and Arsene is signing Autographs,

A woman comes up up to him and says, will you sign my arm please?

Arsene:'Yes of course'

Another woman comes up to him and says 'will you sign my leg'

Arsene:'Yes of course'

Another woman comes over and says can you sign my boobs?

Arsene:Oooh la la, okay!

She then goes on to say, when you've finished, you can sign my pussy..

Arsene: Erm sorry madam, only Rafa signs the c**ts..
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

User avatar
merson_is_god
Posts: 2379
Joined: Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:43 am
Location: At the computer

Post by merson_is_god »

Brilliant!


Whats the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?


















Only takes one nail to put a picture of Jesus! :lol:

MegaGooner
Posts: 2710
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2010 9:27 pm
Location: every full moon

Post by MegaGooner »

merson_is_god wrote:Brilliant!


Whats the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

















Only takes one nail to put a picture of Jesus! :lol:
:drunk: :drunk: :pope:
HELL...yeah............. :oops: :oops: :lol: :wink:

nig1903
Posts: 241
Joined: Tue Nov 06, 2007 2:11 pm

Post by nig1903 »

(Joke deleted by IHH for it's strong racist connotations)

I know this forum is very liberal when it comes to content but that 'joke' was at best straight out of a 1970's 'Love Thy Neighbour' type sitcom; and at worst, something they 'laugh about' in your average NF or BNP meeting!!! :oops: :roll:

Suffice it to say that this kind of 'humour' is just not acceptable in 2010 and certainly won't be tolerated on this forum!! Any more of it and I will have Admin close your account

MegaGooner
Posts: 2710
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2010 9:27 pm
Location: every full moon

Post by MegaGooner »

I met this really kinky girl last night. 'Humiliate me,' she said ... So I bought her a Tottenham shirt

MegaGooner
Posts: 2710
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2010 9:27 pm
Location: every full moon

Post by MegaGooner »

A young boy goes to social services and tells them he has nowhere to live. "What about your parents?" asks the social worker. "No, they beat me," says the boy. "What about your grandparents?" says the social worker. "No, they beat me even harder!" says the boy. "Well ... where do you want to stay then?" replies the social worker. "'Spurs," says the boy. "They never beat anyone.

User avatar
brazilianGOONER
Posts: 9208
Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2009 11:27 am
Location: i think we're parked, man
Contact:

Post by brazilianGOONER »

merson_is_god wrote:Brilliant!


Whats the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?



Only takes one nail to put a picture of Jesus! :lol:
:coffeespit:

:hemademe:

User avatar
brazilianGOONER
Posts: 9208
Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2009 11:27 am
Location: i think we're parked, man
Contact:

Post by brazilianGOONER »

nig1903 wrote:(Deleted by IHH for racist connotations)
:coffeespit:

MegaGooner
Posts: 2710
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2010 9:27 pm
Location: every full moon

Post by MegaGooner »

nig1903 wrote: (Deleted by IHH for racist connotations) .
So was there a point to this "joke"?

User avatar
RNTGOONER
Posts: 1639
Joined: Thu Apr 17, 2008 1:01 pm
Location: Hackney

Post by RNTGOONER »

i think it is racist joke: a play on the 70's racist word **** (Word deleted by IHH. You done well to spot the racist nature of the joke but then spoilt it and let yourself down by writing the actual word that was alluded to!!! ) :banghead: :banghead:

:shock: :shock:

User avatar
RNTGOONER
Posts: 1639
Joined: Thu Apr 17, 2008 1:01 pm
Location: Hackney

Post by RNTGOONER »

agreed was stupid to spell out the offensive word, thanks for deleting it

User avatar
Drone
Posts: 861
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2007 10:07 pm
Location: Albania (Kosovo)

One for the ladies

Post by Drone »

Whats the diference beetwen Oral and Anal sex????

User avatar
brazilianGOONER
Posts: 9208
Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2009 11:27 am
Location: i think we're parked, man
Contact:

Re: One for the ladies

Post by brazilianGOONER »

KAQAK wrote:Whats the diference beetwen Oral and Anal sex????
oral sex is usually cheaper... :lol: :lol:

User avatar
Drone
Posts: 861
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2007 10:07 pm
Location: Albania (Kosovo)

Re: One for the ladies

Post by Drone »

brazilianGOONER wrote:
KAQAK wrote:Whats the diference beetwen Oral and Anal sex????
oral sex is usually cheaper... :lol: :lol:
Oral make's you a day - anal make's you a hole weak....

User avatar
IAMTHEGOONER
Posts: 101
Joined: Wed Jul 09, 2008 8:42 am

Post by IAMTHEGOONER »

WEE SCOUSE JOHNNY WAS SITTING IN THE PARK WHEN A CAR PULLS UP AND THE GUY SAYS HEY JOHNNY IF YOU COME IN MY CAR I WILL GIVE YOU A SWEET. TP WHICH JOHNNY REPLIES GIVE ME THE BAG AND I WILL CUM IN YOUR MOUTH,



3 GUYS GO HUNTING EVERY SUNDAY. BILL BILLY AND WILL ON THE NEXT SUNDAY OF HUNTING ONLY WILL AND BILL GO. AS BILL SCOPED FOR A TARGET HE SHOUTS TO WILL I CAN SEE YOUR HOUSE FROM HERE AND I CAN SEE THAT *word censored* BILLY CHEATING WITH YOUR WIFE. WILL REPLIES SHOOT HIM IN THE PRIVATE PART AND SHOOT HER IN THE HEAD. BILL REPLIES NO PROBLEM I CAN GET THAT IN INE SHOT.


At the World Women's Conference, the first speaker from England stood up: "At last year's conference we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well after the conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb."

The crowd cheered.

The second speaker from America stood up: "After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had done not only his own washing but my washing as well."

The crowd cheered.

The third speaker from Ireland stood up: "After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his shopping and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye."

Post Reply