Jokes

Post by **flash gunner** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 10:51 am

Ive had funnier illness' than the jokes on this thread

marcengels · Post by **marcengels** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 10:52 am

flash gunner wrote:Ive had funnier illness' than the jokes on this thread

Tell us then

Rosie_titters · Post by **Rosie_titters** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 12:21 pm

did you hear about the bloke who raped a deaf and dumb girl, he broke all her fingers so she couldn't tell her parents

marcengels · Post by **marcengels** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 12:23 pm

If you didn't think it could get any worse...

Henry Norris 1913 · Post by **Henry Norris 1913** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 12:25 pm

Rosie_titters wrote:did you hear about the bloke who raped a deaf and dumb girl, he broke all her fingers so she couldn't tell her parents

is that even a joke?

LeftfootlegendGooner · Mon Jul 11, 2011 2:10 pm

Dad cooks a deer for the evening meal & doesn't tell the kids what it is. He only gives them 1 clue "Its what your mother calls me". The boy yells to his sister "Don't eat it, its a fuckin knob"

LeftfootlegendGooner · Mon Jul 11, 2011 2:11 pm

When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.

"and then I saw her face" :)

LeftfootlegendGooner · Mon Jul 11, 2011 2:16 pm

My wife has been missing for over a week now.Police have told me to prepare myself for the worst,so i went to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.

selsdon · Post by **selsdon** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 5:04 pm

Played poker last nite with a thalidomide

fuck me, he played his cards close to his chest

Rosie_titters · Post by **Rosie_titters** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 6:12 pm

Henry Norris 1913 wrote:
Rosie_titters wrote:did you hear about the bloke who raped a deaf and dumb girl, he broke all her fingers so she couldn't tell her parents

is that even a joke?

yeah, bernard manning 1974

delgooner · Post by **delgooner** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 6:35 pm

marcengels wrote:If you didn't think it could get any worse...

the best joke on here!

Arsenal Football Club ha ha ha fucking ha

:stripper:

Post by **brazilianGOONER** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 7:22 pm

we're signing 2 top players next week!

legend10 · Post by **legend10** » Tue Jul 12, 2011 9:58 am

[quote="brazilianGOONER"]we're signing 2 top players next week!

[/quote]

We have a clear winner

Post by **I Hate Hleb** » Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:18 am

An inadvertent but true joke of sorts happened to me yesterday thus....

Rang up the opticians to make an appointment for my mother.

After agreeing a date and time, the receptionist asks me if my mother was due...

I was confused for a second and starting wondering what mum's religion had to do with it before saying: No, she's Roman Catholic!!

At that point we both realised the linguistic faux par I had just made and started laughing. The English language - don't you just love it!!

selsdon · Post by **selsdon** » Tue Jul 12, 2011 4:15 pm

My new girlfriend said I'd have to wait six mths before I'd get a blowjob.

Told her I totally understand and respect her decision and that I'll give her a call then.