Grumpy Git - things that "literally" get on my tit

[Theoperator]

My mates visit to AG was £65 more expensive than they had hoped.

They got a Penalty Charge Notice for doing a 3 point turn at the end of Gliddon Road

They werent doing a U turn as the sign prohibits that but pulled onto a road, that they were going to turn round in, but discovered that it was a one way road, so backed out carefully behind a parked car then pulled off. They didnt pass the one way sign I gather so that should be OK?

The road was quiet and no other trafic was I gather inconvenienced at all.

F**king total scam. They were trying to get to Barons Court tube- cant turn right off the A4 and there are no indications as to how to turn right.

Mate was borrowing some friends car, and they wont tell their friend who was driving it, so its a proper mess.

It the council were really wanting no "U turn" which mate now understands may also include a 3 point turn they should make it easy to turn down and not send people miles up Edith Street, isnt it meant to be all about reducing emissions

A U is a U surely not a 3 point turn

I dont use Barons Court tube station but I guess you have to come off at Hammersmithe to get the "right" way down Edith Road.

What a heap of shite

Anyone suggesting that the council will put the thousands or millions from this scam into better roads? Not even AW and the board could weadle that one

[olgitgooner]

When the perforations on the bog roll don't line up.

It's a multimillion pound industry.

Their quality control is absolute shit.

[g88ner]

When the perforations on the bog roll don't line up.

It's a multimillion pound industry.

Their quality control is absolute shit.

Hmm... do you think you got a bum deal, mate?

[olgitgooner]

I've been ripped off g88ner!!!!!

[DB10GOONER]

I've been ripped off g88ner!!!!!

Are you not in adult nappies by now, Kev?

[franksav63]

I know I've ranted about it before but fucking umbrellas really do my brain in.

You've got U.W.'s walking about in the wind, they're blowing inside out and serving no purpose at all except for me when I laugh at the *word censored*. Also, why do they need to use them under covered areas? Also why do some of the umbrella carrying *word censored* have to have an umbrella so fucking big that it can be seen from outer space? *word censored*...

Also, why is it people try to be funny by stating something that is probably heard a million times by the person they're saying it to?

I.E. to say to a window cleaner... ''that you've missed a bit''... I bet a window cleaner hasn't heard that one before Stupid bastards...

[DB10GOONER]

This current stupid beard on young lads thing infecting Dublin is starting to make me angry. You know the look - side parting in the hair, skin-tight jeans on pencil-like legs, lumberjack shirt and big stupid full beard.

Seriously, FUCK OFF - you don't look cool or edgy or dangerous or like a heroin addicted artist or new-metal rock star, you look like a gay lumberjack!

[arseofacrow]

This current stupid beard on young lads thing infecting Dublin is starting to make me angry..

Getting some friction burns on your cock, mate?

[QuartzGooner]

These



One is pottering along, nothing in the rear view mirror, when suddenly as if from out of nowhere are a bright pair of headlights about a foot from the rear of one's car.

It is one of these, impatient to get to his next job, full of aggression and seemingly oblivious of speed limits, doing his level best to intimidate you.

[olgitgooner]

I've been ripped off g88ner!!!!!

Are you not in adult nappies by now, Kev?

Nope. I just avoid wearing light coloured trousers.

[DB10GOONER]

This current stupid beard on young lads thing infecting Dublin is starting to make me angry..

Getting some friction burns on your cock, mate?

Did I mention your missus? No.

[goonertux]

These



One is pottering along, nothing in the rear view mirror, when suddenly as if from out of nowhere are a bright pair of headlights about a foot from the rear of one's car.

It is one of these, impatient to get to his next job, full of aggression and seemingly oblivious of speed limits, doing his level best to intimidate you.

Totally agree Quartz. Addisson Lee drivers are the worst by a mile. Where do they recruit them from? I used to work nights and it was always a nice easy drive home between 4 & 5 am until one of these arseholes appeared from nowhere! Dickheads, the lot of 'em.

[DB10GOONER]

These



One is pottering along, nothing in the rear view mirror, when suddenly as if from out of nowhere are a bright pair of headlights about a foot from the rear of one's car.

It is one of these, impatient to get to his next job, full of aggression and seemingly oblivious of speed limits, doing his level best to intimidate you.

Totally agree Quartz. Addisson Lee drivers are the worst by a mile. Where do they recruit them from? I used to work nights and it was always a nice easy drive home between 4 & 5 am until one of these arseholes appeared from nowhere! Dickheads, the lot of 'em.

My solution to arseholes like that is to slow the fuck down right in front of them. Then when they try to pass, just speed back up. Alternatively, tap your hazards - for that split second it looks like you are slamming on and scares the shit out of them. Works best if they are right up tight behind you.

[QuartzGooner]

It is an idea DB10.
I was on the M25 motorway the other week.
It has variable speed limits, changes a fair bit from 70mph to 50mph to 40mph, tricky to drive because they police those limits with a lot of speed cameras, it is very lucrative catching out drivers who forget to slow down.

So I was in the fast lane doing 50mph which was the speed limit, and to my left level with me is another car at the same speed.

Out of nowhere a Mercedes driver is right behind me, trying to overtake.

There is a perfectly well established way to overtake on a motorway, which is flash headlights at the car in front.
But this idiot just drives to within 10m of my car at 50mph!

I cannot do much, as the car to my left prevents me from slowing down to slip into that lane, and the speed cameras prevent me speeding up.

So I put my hazard lights on and slowed to 30mph.

Eventually the car to my left pulls away, the Mercedes idiot behind me moves to his left, and then pulls up level with me and starts trying to stare me out as we are driving!

[DB10GOONER]

It is an idea DB10.
I was on the M25 motorway the other week.
It has variable speed limits, changes a fair bit from 70mph to 50mph to 40mph, tricky to drive because they police those limits with a lot of speed cameras, it is very lucrative catching out drivers who forget to slow down.

So I was in the fast lane doing 50mph which was the speed limit, and to my left level with me is another car at the same speed.

Out of nowhere a Mercedes driver is right behind me, trying to overtake.

There is a perfectly well established way to overtake on a motorway, which is flash headlights at the car in front.
But this idiot just drives to within 10m of my car at 50mph!

I cannot do much, as the car to my left prevents me from slowing down to slip into that lane, and the speed cameras prevent me speeding up.

So I put my hazard lights on and slowed to 30mph.

Eventually the car to my left pulls away, the Mercedes idiot behind me moves to his left, and then pulls up level with me and starts trying to stare me out as we are driving!

Your motorways are lethal, mate. Worst place I ever saw was Cairo though. "Agressive driving whilst ramming/jostling for position by force" is how I'd best describe it.

Once got a taxi from Highbury out to Standted with a Turkish taxi driver and Gooner called Jan. Really nice guy, and when he discovered we were on the way back to Dublin the morning after watching The Arsenal he shared his lunch with my mate and me (we were both cataclysmically hungover). Jan spent nearly the entire journey at 70+ mph looking back over the seat at us and chatting away, glancing at the road ahead every now and then. How we weren't killed in a big crashing firey explosion of death is fucking beyond me!


Can someone please contact that arsehole Father_Ted and just enquire if it's racist of me to specify that Jan was Turkish? Thank you.